Here is a little exchange between me and a four-year-old. All of it was said in Bulgarian (except 'six'). Quick Bulgarian lesson: six = shest. Sex = sex.
Child: What does "sex" mean?
Me: Six? Shest.
Child: No, sex.
Me: Six?
Child: Sex.
Me: Six? Shest!
Child: No, what does sex mean?
Me: Shest!
[child gives up]
And that's how you avoid awkward conversations.
I had an Easter Egg Hunt at the kindergarten which was new to the kids. I hid a couple of eggs and some candy for each of them. You know how you plan things with kids and then when it actually happens there's a lot more screaming and fighting than you planned? Yeah, me too. It was a lot of fun though and they all asked to do it again afterwards. The littlest one didn't get the concept of looking for eggs. He just followed me around saying, "Sasha, tell me where the eggs are! Please! Tell me! Saaaaashaaaa!"
After nap time:
Child: A gypsy stole my egg!
Teacher: Where are there gypsies in the kindergarten?
Child: Gabi is a gypsy!
Gabi: No I'm not!
Threats from the kindergarten teachers to get kids to behave:
-"That's it, I'm calling the police!"
-"Sasha will leave and never come back if you don't behave!"
-"Quickly! The police are coming!"
-
-"Lie down or you will have to study!"
-"Quiet kids, I just saw the police car drive by!"
*Baba Yaga is a witch who flies around kidnapping children and threatening to eat them.**
**Disclaimer: Baba Yaga is a fictional character.
I am learning a lot for when I may become a parent someday:
Me: Pick up your toys.
Junior: No!
Me: That's it I am calling the police. [fake dials] Here I go…calling the police chief right now…Hello, my daughter won't…
Junior: Okay, okay!
Me: Now let's look over your homework.
Junior: I don't wanna!
Me: That's it, I'm calling the president. [fake dials] Hello, Madam President, my daughter refuses to get an education…
Junior: Alright already!
Fool proof, parenting. Empty threats, for the win.
